Short Story: It's my Possessiveness or Over Control?
Hello dosto, asha karta hu ki aap sab log achche honge. Kya aapne kabhi socha hai ki kabhi kabhi over Possessiveness apne ko hi nuksaan de sakta hai... Aaj ki kahani isi se aadharait hai ....ye kahani (kalpnik) Priya aur Rahul ki hai, Jo ki wo a couple hai.
Kabhi Kabhi sab control karna itna sahi kynu lagta hai?
Priya aur Rahul ki Life mein sab accha chal raha tha, par, dheere dheere Priya ko lagne laga ki Rahul usko avoid karta hai, raat ko wo usse door rehta hai aur din mein bhi baatein kam hoti hai.. Priya soch hi nahi paa rahi hai ki usse kya karna chahiye toh chaliye sunte hai Priya se uske realisation ke baare mein.
Kabhi kabhi hume lagta hai ki hum jo soch rahe hai wahi sahi hai… isiliye bahut samay tak mujhe pata hi nahi chala ki main control karr rahi hu. Mujhe aisa lagta tha ki main apne pati se jayada honest aur smart hoo bilkul daily soap ki un heroines ki tarah jo kuch bhi kar sakti hai. Aur shayad yahi wajah thi ki mujhe pata hi nahi chala ki kab maine apni intimacy ko khatam kar rahi thi. Phir maine apne controling behaviour ko pehchana aur kuch aise steps liye jiise ki meri life mein romance wapas aa sake .
Apne control karne ki aadat ko chodne ke raste mein, maine socha ki kyun na thoda polite hoke control kiya jaaye, thik waise hi jaise kaan ko seedhe na pakad kar ghooma kar pakda jaye. Aur bharosa kijiye mujhe laga ye kaam karr raha hai par phir mujhe realise hua ki main ab bhi control karr rahi hoo.
Mera goal tha ki unke jaane bina main unko control karti rahu,thik waise hi jaise ki ek hypnotised person ,jise pata hi nahi hota hai ki wo kisi ke control mei hai. Par unka response pahle ki tarah hi hostile tha. Par main ghoom phir kar ussi jagah par wapas khadi thi aur soach rahi thi ki mere husband itne distant and defensive kyun hai.
Main koi irrational person nahi hoo jo ki apni shaadisuda zindagi ko kharab karne mei tuli hui hai,toh mein phir kyo un chizzon ko apne control mei karna chati hoo jo ki mere control se bahar hai thik badhti hui mahngai ki tarah.
toh janab answer ye hai ki main dari hui hoo, thik us chote bachhe ki tarah jo ki apni pyare toy ke gum ho jaane ke darr se use jor se pakad kar rakhta hai. Agar aap darte nahi hai to aap kisi ko control bhi nahi karege. Logon ko control karne ka koi reason nahi hai tab tak ki jab aap ye sochte ho ki aapko iss wajah se mehnat jyada karni padegi…
Agar aapko control karne ki aadat hai to,to iska maltab ye nahi ki aap ko kisi cheez ka darr hai. darr bahut se reasons se aata hai. Maine apne husband ko contorl karne ke liye bahut se embarrassing aur non effective ways try kiye jo ki kaffi irrational aur bahut hi ridiculous actions se bhare hote hai.
1. Making helpful suggestions
Main humesha aisa bolti rahti hoo ki "agar aap chezzo ko file drawer mein rakhoge to jayada easily mil jaayegi. Mobile band karke soiye taaki aapko jaldi neend aaye. Ye sab main isliye karti hoon taki wo ghar ko bhi saaf rakhe aur mobile band hone se mujhe bhi neend aaye
Fear : uska office(automatically ghar) messy ho sakta hai.
2. Speaking on his behalf
Jab koi doctors, waitress deliveryman etc unse kuch poochte toh main hamesha ready rehti answer dene ke liye taaki sabhi ko sahi information mile aur humari family ka sahi impression pade,aur logo ko ye lage ki meri information kitni update rahti hai.
Fear:Wah koi jaroori information leave kar dege aur log mera mazak banayege.
3. Making decision for him
Mei humesha unko batati rahti hoo unko kaha kitna contribute karna chhahtiye,kaun se kapde apni closet se hata dene chhahiye unko kaun sa phone lena chaahiye etc etc. jaisa mujhe humesha se lagta hai ki main unse kahi jayada samrt hoo isliye ye saare decision mere ko hi lee chhahiye.
Fear: Ki wo koi galat decision le lege
4. Shooting him disapporving looks
Mai unpar sabji khareedne se leke car khareedne ki baat karne par aisa look deti hu jisse saaf ho jata hai ki main usse approve nahi karti, yahan tak ki jab wo apna pasand ka serial dekh rahe hote hai to mein shaant hoti hoo par apna bossy behavior nahi chodti.
Fear:Humara food bhaut jaldi khatam ho jaayega aur wah bhaut jayada money spend kar dege aur unke Three Stooges ko like karne ke karan mei embrrass ho jaoogi.
5. Asking leading questions
Mai humesha hi bolti rahati hoo ki "Tum lunch mei kya khaooge? Tum waha jaane ke liye inti jaldi kyo nikal rahe ho? kya ye shirt is pant ke saath aachi lag rahi hai...etc etc
Fear: wo healthy nahi rahenge, hume jab jaroort hogi wo humare saath nai hoge aur unki funny dressing ko dekh kar log mera mazak banayege.
6. Announcing that "we" need to go to counseling.
As a husband he is a failure, pata nahi aap mere is statement ko kaise lete hai par mere hisab se apne patiko apne hatto ki neeache rakhne ke liye ye sabse expensive way hai.
Fear: Meri shaddi ek galat aadmi se ho gayi hai jisko agar maine change nahi kiya to main jaise life chhahti ho waise nahi mil paayegi.
7. Telling him how i would do things
Mai humesha ye kehti rahti hoo ki "mei is road par bhaut dheere chalti hoo kyoki wo bahat narrow hai "ya phir meri car se awaz aa rahi hai isliye mei usko servicing par le jaa rahi hoo."ye soach kar kitna aachha lagta hai ki "i know everything"
Fear: Humara accident ho jayyega aur hum bina matlab ka ek lumba bill pay karege aur udhria mein aa jaayege aur mera pedicure rah jaayega.
8. Criticising him
"you are such a slob" or "you are so aggressive", mujhe aisa lagta ki unme jo bhi kamiya hai wo mere bolne se turant thik ho jaayegi.
Fear: Jab tak wo badlege nahi mujhe ek samazdar aur attentive husband nahi milega, aur humesha mere ko hi sab thik karna hoga.
9. Making demands
"you have to call your mom" or "you have to change your phone".mujhe lagta hai ki ye sab kehana ekdum sahi hai kyoki mei ekdum sahi hoo.
FEAR: mujhe unki family ke saamne sharminda hona padega aur budaape mein hum akele reh jaayenge
10. Undoing n redoing the things that he'd just do.
Mei unko humesha is baat ka ehassas dilati rahti hoo ki aap ek bed sheet sahi nahi kar sakte ,dekho kaise ki jaati hai. Agar main nahi sikhaun toh unko kaise aayega ye sab
Fear: Agar maine sarra kaam nahi kiya to mujhe lumpy bed par sona padega.
Ye sab dekhte hue hum ek nayi awearness la sakte hai,ki agli baar se jab bhi hum apne husband ko control kar rahe hoge to hum ye jaante hoge ki hum kya kar rahe hai.Ek thode se change se agar humari zindgi badal jaati hai to uski shuruaat aaj se hi karni chhahiye kabki kisi baat ko nazaandaaz kar dijiye, to kabhi poore confidence ke saath apni baat rakhiye,yaad rakhiye ki is world mei koi bhi insaan mukamal nahi hota hai ,jo jaisa hai usko waisa hi apnaiye ....kisi ko badal kar pyar karna pyar nahi hota hai.
Agra aap apne aapko ye lagta hai aap kisi ko control nahi kar rahe hai to apne aap se kuch sawal poochiye,ya phir apne kisi dost ki help le lijiye kyoki "A friend in need, is a friend indeed"
yaha par kuch magical question hai,jo ki aap ke fear ko defeat karke aapke faith ko increase karegi
.What am i afarid of?
.Is my fear realistic?
.Can i actually control the situation?
. Is it worth the intimacy it would cost me to try to control?
So, hame comments karke batayen it is Possessiveness or love....aur agar aapko ye story achchi lagi ho to kripya like, share aur subscribe Karen. Milte hai agle episode me ek naye story ke saath khus rahe, safe rahe, aur haa COVID19 pandemic abhi khatm nahi hua hai isliye maintain "do gaj ki duri aur mask hai jaruri. aur haa haath sanitize karna Naa bhoolen...tab tak ke liye aap dhanyawad.
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